I’ve been thinking about this article for a long time. I’ve got a handful of “2nd Additions” & “Half-Finished’s” floating around on my idea list, but what has really been standing out in my mind for a bit is an eccentric & weird topic that just burns life into my soul, with my fingertips scratching at the keyboard when Writers Block just wants to put me to sleep. It’s called “Seven Unexpected Things That Completely Changed My Life.”
Let’s just get right down to it. Whether you are a dog trainer or a fashion designer, a real estate agent or a teacher, sometimes you find yourself in a mental funk that you can’t seem to work your way out of. I have woken up with the thought that “My life is stupid.” (Oh? It’s just me then?) I realize that that is some weird verbiage with which to wake yourself up. But have you ever been so stuck in your head with yourself - who can be a relentless & shameless self-deprecating b*tch, by the way - that when someone asks you “What do you want to do?” you honestly don’t have an answer because you truly can’t think of anything you feel like doing at the moment?
I’ve felt like that.
For me, and hopefully for you, this is never a permanent state of being. We all get down on ourselves sometimes. When you’re stuck in your own head like that though, that notion is easier remembered than achieved. The saying goes “We are our own worst enemy,” and MAN, I can relate to that. Millions of dollars would not fix those problems. I am admittedly short of millions of dollars, but money, things, items, milestones… They alone have not made me happy. In fact, they have rather been the bane of my existence.
But this article isn’t about that. It’s not about how my struggles are worse than yours, or about how yours trump mine, but about how I’ve been inspired by the most unlikely of sources to fight against these odds and truly begin to be comfortable in my own skin. We all – well, most us of! – deserve that. The Dirty Thirty was a good year for me.
Let’s just get right down to it. Whether you are a dog trainer or a fashion designer, a real estate agent or a teacher, sometimes you find yourself in a mental funk that you can’t seem to work your way out of. I have woken up with the thought that “My life is stupid.” (Oh? It’s just me then?) I realize that that is some weird verbiage with which to wake yourself up. But have you ever been so stuck in your head with yourself - who can be a relentless & shameless self-deprecating b*tch, by the way - that when someone asks you “What do you want to do?” you honestly don’t have an answer because you truly can’t think of anything you feel like doing at the moment?
I’ve felt like that.
For me, and hopefully for you, this is never a permanent state of being. We all get down on ourselves sometimes. When you’re stuck in your own head like that though, that notion is easier remembered than achieved. The saying goes “We are our own worst enemy,” and MAN, I can relate to that. Millions of dollars would not fix those problems. I am admittedly short of millions of dollars, but money, things, items, milestones… They alone have not made me happy. In fact, they have rather been the bane of my existence.
But this article isn’t about that. It’s not about how my struggles are worse than yours, or about how yours trump mine, but about how I’ve been inspired by the most unlikely of sources to fight against these odds and truly begin to be comfortable in my own skin. We all – well, most us of! – deserve that. The Dirty Thirty was a good year for me.
And so in the spirit of that assertion, allow me to represent the Underdog – but also the Happy Girl. I ask from you what was asked of me. That, my friends, is to have an open mind, an open heart, and a maybe just a little bit of crazy. With that said, behold seven weirdly impactful things that truly gave me a different perspective on life.
1) A One Page Article in Allure Magazine on Posture
As many of you know, I am a business owner, a hiker and a nature enthusiast. What many of you don’t know if that I am also a lover of fashion. (A good one? A bad one? It matters not for the purpose of this article.) My Allure Magazine had arrived, and I’d gone cover to cover, from topic to topic, and this particular little article – on posture - bored me, so I skipped over it, again and again. (I have this weird habit of reading magazines back to front.) But back and forth, I bypassed this article until it was the last thing in the magazine left for me to read. I was waiting for someone to finish something while I waited in the car. When this article was the very last thing in the magazine for me to read, I read it. And found it life-changing. I followed the instructions. I sat up straight (something I still have to put conscious effort into), opened my shoulders, and felt a little light bulb go off.
I remember when I was a teenager, my mom warned me: “You are a short little thing that people love. You are going to have to fight against that your whole life.” And I did learn what she meant.
I think about this article every day when I double check my posture. Walk with your head held high, like you have a string holding you up straight. It’s very empowering. I think about this every single day. (And let me tell you, any photo of you will look ten thousand times better!)
Here it is for your reference: http://www.allure.com/beauty-trends/health/2015/how-to-have-better-posture.
I remember when I was a teenager, my mom warned me: “You are a short little thing that people love. You are going to have to fight against that your whole life.” And I did learn what she meant.
I think about this article every day when I double check my posture. Walk with your head held high, like you have a string holding you up straight. It’s very empowering. I think about this every single day. (And let me tell you, any photo of you will look ten thousand times better!)
Here it is for your reference: http://www.allure.com/beauty-trends/health/2015/how-to-have-better-posture.
2) A Basketball Hoop
When I was twelve years old, I was a little bit of a lost soul. I was still broken-hearted because of my parents’ divorce when I was five, and unconvinced that they wouldn’t get back together. You know how I said I was five feet tall? My stepfather was 6’7” and I looked up at him like I was King Kong and just threw every ounce of my adolescent strength into detesting him. He wasn’t my dad, and I let him know it. Not in my words, but probably in my actions. I wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, either. I frustrated him.
Well, the basketball hoop. It came into play long ago when I was just a kid because the outlet for all my frustration and confusion and pre-pubescent angst became shooting hoops. I’d just play and play and play until I couldn’t think about anything but improving my shot. I’d play “Around the World” like I was going around the world. I’d imagine myself there and play like I was Carmen San Diego – (am I dating myself a little bit there?) I never learned too much how to actually play basketball, but I would shoot hoops with myself until I couldn’t see the court anymore… past dusk. It would get dark and I’d get called in for dinner. The court was my neighbors’ driveway with a basketball hoop in it.
That basketball hoop gave me a peace of mind and years later, I was given another basketball hoop when I was thirty that served the same purpose. I recommend it to everyone. It was an amazing revelation to realize I could still hack it… at least in Around the World vs. Myself.
Well, the basketball hoop. It came into play long ago when I was just a kid because the outlet for all my frustration and confusion and pre-pubescent angst became shooting hoops. I’d just play and play and play until I couldn’t think about anything but improving my shot. I’d play “Around the World” like I was going around the world. I’d imagine myself there and play like I was Carmen San Diego – (am I dating myself a little bit there?) I never learned too much how to actually play basketball, but I would shoot hoops with myself until I couldn’t see the court anymore… past dusk. It would get dark and I’d get called in for dinner. The court was my neighbors’ driveway with a basketball hoop in it.
That basketball hoop gave me a peace of mind and years later, I was given another basketball hoop when I was thirty that served the same purpose. I recommend it to everyone. It was an amazing revelation to realize I could still hack it… at least in Around the World vs. Myself.
3) Kimora Lee Simmons said “Always Dress Like You’re Going to See Your Worst Enemy.”
Kimora Lee Simmons?? WHAT a quote to be seen in an article on a dog trainer’s blog – I know. And I actually know very little about Kimora Lee Simmons beyond this quote. This quote, however, was a game changer for me. I don’t remember WHEN I heard it or HOW I heard it, but it stuck out in my mind right away and it has ever since. When I wake up in the morning and get ready – after letting the dogs out, doing dishes, etc. – I ask myself not “What do I want to look like today?” but “What do I want to FEEL like today?” May sound silly, but I promise you, it isn’t. Take that extra moment for yourself, and when you are between the flats & the killer red heels, ask yourself, “If I ran into my ex today, what would I want to look like?” Go with your gut – whatever that is! – and rock it out shamelessly.
4) BirchBox
| I saw a commercial on TV for this one and was like, “$10.99 per month? No way!” This already sounds like an advertisement but I swear t isn’t. (BirchBox has no idea I’m even writing this article.) What is BirchBox? Basically, it’s a literal box of high-end customized beauty product samples that are shipped to your house every month for $10.99. Changed my life. Truly. It has been so much fun, a celebration of woman power. I am still a customer ten months later – and it just really invigorates you to treat yourself better. Take an extra moment for yourself and have FUN. Receiving this gift to myself every month – and it always arrives at just the right time – makes me so annoyingly excited to get ready and rock it out every single day. You deserve it – seriously – and not only that, but your goals deserve the best you. Punch doubt in the face & look pretty. |  |
5) Kick THIS Piece of Advice to the Curb: Don’t Go Into Business With Your Best Friend
Yeah, well. I was told that for my entire adult life when given good and valid advice from industry people who knew what they were talking about. I could not be happier that that suggestion has been weighed, measured & found wanting. I threw that piece of advice straight out the window & so did she (my BFF & business partner, Kim Chatha). There is no loyalty like ours and annoyingly to others, that has been proven time & time again over the years. Yes, I said years. When it comes down to it, do what you know is right in your heart & deal with the consequences later. .. knowing you put all your eggs in that basket & fought for what you believed in. Failure hasn’t happened to HEX. Proudly, Kim Chatha is my BFF & HEX’s Co-Owner with a shot gun (just kidding about the shot gun) and we still back each other 150% every day. It CAN be done, people. Don’t believe the hype. Make your own judgment calls.
6) “Sometimes as an Adult, You Have to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do.”
Believe it or not, I didn’t learn this ‘til I was thirty. Much can be accomplished when you accept this fact. And it’s okay if it still makes you mad as an adult.
7) FIGHT.
Let me please give you the advice that a brilliant biker who I’ll probably never see again gave me at a meeting once:
“Fight, girl. Bite, scratch, claw, get angry… Fight for what you want.” A stranger – who I haven’t seen before or since - had no problem telling me what no one had ever had the gall to tell me before, especially not on first meeting and straight to my face. I needed to “smarten up” and fight for what I wanted. I continue to do so to this day.
Thank you, Jim the Biker.
“Fight, girl. Bite, scratch, claw, get angry… Fight for what you want.” A stranger – who I haven’t seen before or since - had no problem telling me what no one had ever had the gall to tell me before, especially not on first meeting and straight to my face. I needed to “smarten up” and fight for what I wanted. I continue to do so to this day.
Thank you, Jim the Biker.
To all who have contributed to this article, knowingly & unknowingly, thank you, from the bottom of my weird little heart - the good, the bad & the ugly. I could not be more grateful for the way I’ve gotten to the spiritual, professional & psychological place I am today, and although there is a lot more growth to be had, the journey rocks on, and I am looking forward to it. I am proud to say I am in a good place these days, and that is in large part due to the influence of the above-referenced inspirations.
My hope is that this article helps another girl who too feels alone in a crowded room. I feel ya.
My hope is that this article helps another girl who too feels alone in a crowded room. I feel ya.
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