Let’s just get right down to it. Whether you are a dog trainer or a fashion designer, a real estate agent or a teacher, sometimes you find yourself in a mental funk that you can’t seem to work your way out of. I have woken up with the thought that “My life is stupid.” (Oh? It’s just me then?) I realize that that is some weird verbiage with which to wake yourself up. But have you ever been so stuck in your head with yourself - who can be a relentless & shameless self-deprecating b*tch, by the way - that when someone asks you “What do you want to do?” you honestly don’t have an answer because you truly can’t think of anything you feel like doing at the moment?
I’ve felt like that.
For me, and hopefully for you, this is never a permanent state of being. We all get down on ourselves sometimes. When you’re stuck in your own head like that though, that notion is easier remembered than achieved. The saying goes “We are our own worst enemy,” and MAN, I can relate to that. Millions of dollars would not fix those problems. I am admittedly short of millions of dollars, but money, things, items, milestones… They alone have not made me happy. In fact, they have rather been the bane of my existence.
But this article isn’t about that. It’s not about how my struggles are worse than yours, or about how yours trump mine, but about how I’ve been inspired by the most unlikely of sources to fight against these odds and truly begin to be comfortable in my own skin. We all – well, most us of! – deserve that. The Dirty Thirty was a good year for me.
1) A One Page Article in Allure Magazine on Posture
I remember when I was a teenager, my mom warned me: “You are a short little thing that people love. You are going to have to fight against that your whole life.” And I did learn what she meant.
I think about this article every day when I double check my posture. Walk with your head held high, like you have a string holding you up straight. It’s very empowering. I think about this every single day. (And let me tell you, any photo of you will look ten thousand times better!)
Here it is for your reference: http://www.allure.com/beauty-trends/health/2015/how-to-have-better-posture.
2) A Basketball Hoop
Well, the basketball hoop. It came into play long ago when I was just a kid because the outlet for all my frustration and confusion and pre-pubescent angst became shooting hoops. I’d just play and play and play until I couldn’t think about anything but improving my shot. I’d play “Around the World” like I was going around the world. I’d imagine myself there and play like I was Carmen San Diego – (am I dating myself a little bit there?) I never learned too much how to actually play basketball, but I would shoot hoops with myself until I couldn’t see the court anymore… past dusk. It would get dark and I’d get called in for dinner. The court was my neighbors’ driveway with a basketball hoop in it.
That basketball hoop gave me a peace of mind and years later, I was given another basketball hoop when I was thirty that served the same purpose. I recommend it to everyone. It was an amazing revelation to realize I could still hack it… at least in Around the World vs. Myself.
3) Kimora Lee Simmons said “Always Dress Like You’re Going to See Your Worst Enemy.”
I saw a commercial on TV for this one and was like, “$10.99 per month? No way!” This already sounds like an advertisement but I swear t isn’t. (BirchBox has no idea I’m even writing this article.) What is BirchBox? Basically, it’s a literal box of high-end customized beauty product samples that are shipped to your house every month for $10.99. Changed my life. Truly. It has been so much fun, a celebration of woman power. I am still a customer ten months later – and it just really invigorates you to treat yourself better. Take an extra moment for yourself and have FUN. Receiving this gift to myself every month – and it always arrives at just the right time – makes me so annoyingly excited to get ready and rock it out every single day. You deserve it – seriously – and not only that, but your goals deserve the best you. Punch doubt in the face & look pretty.
5) Kick THIS Piece of Advice to the Curb: Don’t Go Into Business With Your Best Friend
6) “Sometimes as an Adult, You Have to Do Things You Don’t Want to Do.”
“Fight, girl. Bite, scratch, claw, get angry… Fight for what you want.” A stranger – who I haven’t seen before or since - had no problem telling me what no one had ever had the gall to tell me before, especially not on first meeting and straight to my face. I needed to “smarten up” and fight for what I wanted. I continue to do so to this day.
Thank you, Jim the Biker.
My hope is that this article helps another girl who too feels alone in a crowded room. I feel ya.